A Parent's Guide to Surviving Adolescence

Adolescent Development:
You are a parent. You have lived through 2 a.m. feedings, toddler temper tantrums, but -I-don't-want-to-go-to-school-today blues. So why it is the word 'adolescence' can strike terror into your heart?

'As a society, I think we see puberty and adolescence as a dark, menacing, medieval period in our child's life,' says Mary Soha MD, a pediatrician in Jacksonville, Florida.

'It doesn't have to be that way. Puberty can be a beautiful, creative, wonderful time for kids and parents. If handled properly.' Read on for some ideas for getting through it.

Puberty and Adolescence
First, let us make a (somewhat artificial) distinction between puberty and adolescence. Children between the ages of 10 and 14 (or even younger) can also be going through a bunch of changes that aren't readily seen from the outside. These are the changes of adolescence. Kids of this age are becoming more aware of how others, especially their peers, see them. They are beginning to separate from mum and dad, beginning to become more independent.

Adolescents start to think more abstractly and rationally. They are forming their moral code. 'We tend to talk about all the negatives of adolescence, but the positive things that are happening are incredible. The brain and emotional growth are astounding. This is where the parent has to be involved, on the more positive side,' says Dr. Soha.

When Does Adolescence Begin?
What a bunch of individualists adolescents are! There are early bloomers, late arrivals, speedy developers, slow-but-steady growers. The message to send your kid is: everybody's different. There is a wide range of normal. By age 10, or even earlier, some kids begin to show behavioural changes that sometimes mark the beginning of adolescence. Many announce the onset of adolescence with a dramatic change in behaviour round their parents. One mother remembers it like his: 'Zahra would always come home from school and sit around with me for a while, drinking milk and talking about the day. Then one afternoon, when she was about 11 I think, ... wham! She walked into the house and went right to her room and closed the door. I knew that was it.' Zahra says she was looking for some private time and avoiding conflict with her mum. 'I

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